Intambwe nke zoroheje wakurikiza kugira ngo urusheho kugirana n’abandi imishyikirano myiza, zishobora gutuma nawe uba inshuti wifuza ko nawe wagira.

Inama eshanu zoroshye zagufasha kwirinda kuba inshuti mbi?

Intambwe nke zoroheje wakurikiza kugira ngo urusheho kugirana n’abandi imishyikirano myiza, zishobora gutuma nawe uba inshuti wifuza ko nawe wagira.

Abantu muri rusange ntibamenya vuba amakosa yabo. Dushobora kwinubira ubwibone, ubujiji, kutamenya cyangwa ubupfapfa, tutitaye ku makosa akomeye bashobora kubona mu mico yacu.

Izo ntege nkeya zigaragarira mu mishyikirano (ubushuti) iyo ari yo yose tugirana n’abandi.

Iyo dukoze ibintu tutatekerejeho, bishobora kubabaza abo dukunda cyane, nubwo twaba tutabigambiriye.

Ndavuga ubugizi bwa nabi bworoheje aho kuba ibikorwa bibi byakozwe nkana – ingaruka z’uku kunyerera mu myifatire ziba ari mbi.

Igihe nandikaga igitabo cyanjye giherutse ku bumenyi bw’imibanire y’abantu, nasanze “umubano urimo kwivuguruza” – aho umuntu rimwe aba mwiza, ubundi agahinduka akaba mubi – ibishobora kwangiza imibereho ya muntu kurusha umuntu ugira nabi kuburyo bugaragara kandi buhoraho, uba usanzwe azwi imiterere ye.

Igishimishije ariko, ni uko ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko dushobora gushyiraho uburyo bworoshye ariko bw’ingirakamaro bwo kumenya ingeso mbi dufite no kuzigabanya.

Hano hari uburyo butanu(5) nkunda cyane bw’ukuntu twakwirinda kwisanga twahindutse inshuti zitari nziza.

Nta muntu wishimira kubaho mu rujijo – kandi ibi bishobora kugaragarira no mu buryo abantu bakira ububabare bwo ku mubiri.

mu kigo cy’ubushakashatsi mu by’imyakura cyo mu Bwongereza, hamwe na bagenzi be/ n’abo bakoranaga, basabye abantu gukina umukino wo kuri mudasobwa aho igihe cyose ubonye inzoka yihishe munsi y’urutare ubyerekana ariko ugafatwa n’amashanyarazi mu buryo butoya.

Kugira ngo basuzume ingaruka ziterwa no kutamenya ibigiye kuba no guhangayika, abashakashatsi bahinduye uburyo bishoboka ko urutare rwaba ruhisha inzoka igihe bakoraga ubushakashatsi, maze bapima ibimenyetso by’umubiri byerekana guhangayika harimo kubira icyuya no kw’aguka kw’ijisho.

Igitangaje ariko, ni uko abitabiriye iryo gerageza bagaragaje ko barushijeho guhangayiko igihe bari bafite amahirwe 50% gusa yo gutenguhwa, ugereranyije n’igihe bari bazi neza ko baza gufatwa na ya mashanyarazi.

Imyitwarire ihindagurika ishobora gutuma abantu bari hafi yacu bitega ibintu nkibyo.

Mu bushakashatsi ku inshuti zidahoraho, abahanga basabye abitabiriye gutekereza ko bagiye kureba inshuti ngo ibagire inama, ibafashe gusobanukirwa cyangwa ubufasha.

Babasabye gusubiza ibi bibazo bikurikira ku gipimo cyo kuva kuri 1 (igipimo cyo hasi) kugeza kuri 6 (igipimo cyo hejuru):

Ese uwo mubano ufasha ute?

Ese uwo mubano ugutera agahinda cyangwa umujagararo?

Uwariwe wese utanga igipimo cya 2 cyangwa hejuru kuri ibi bibazo byombi afatwa nkufite umubano uhindagurika kandi gushidikanya kubirebana n’icyo bashobora kubivugaho bishobora gutera kumva utameze neza mu mutwe(stress).

Mu bushakashatsi bumwe, kumenya gusa ko incuti zabo zihindagurika zari zicaye mu cyumba cyakurikiragaho byari bihagije kugira ngo bitume umuvuduko w’amaraso w’abari muri ubwo bushakashatsi uzamuka.

Kuba incuti ihindagurika bishobora gutera abandi umujagararo(stress) kurusha uko waba uri inshuti mbi bizwi.

Ntabwo buri gihe dushobora gutanga ubufasha inshuti zacu zikeneye, ariko dushobora kugerageza kuba abizerwa mu buryo tubasubiza.

Urugero, dushobora kwiga kugenzura ibyiyumviro byacu mu buryo bwiza, kugira ngo tutihutira kubwira nabi inshuti zacu mu gihe zije tutari mu bihe byiza-aho kugira ngo tugire umujinya mu gihe incuti zacu zituvugishije mu gihe kidakwiriye.

2. Irinde kumva ko bashobora kumenya ibyo utekereza

Buri wese muri twe afite ibitekerezo bye bwite, ariko dukunda kwibeshya tukibwira ko abandi bashobora gusoma/gusobanukirwa amarangamutima yacu – ibi nibyo bizwi rimwe na rimwe nko kwibwira ko abandi bashobora kumenya ibyiyumviro byacu.

Ibi bishobora kugaragarira muri ‘interview’ z’akazi: dutekereza ko ibyiyumvo/ubwoba byacu byanditse mu maso hacu – ariko ibyiyumvo by’ihungabana akenshi biragoye cyane kubisobanukirwa kuruta uko tubitekereza.

Iyo myumvire y’inenge ikunze kugaragara ishobora no kutubuza gushimira abandi, bigatuma bumva ko batitaweho kandi ko nta gaciro bafite.

Amit Kumar wo muri Kaminuza ya Texas muri Amerika na Nicholas Epley wo muri Kaminuza y’i Chicago, bakoze isuzuma ku matsinda y’abari bitabiriye kwandika amabaruwa yo gushimira abantu b’agaciro mu buzima bwabo.

Bifashishije ubushakashatsi ngo bagereranye ibyo abanditse ayo mabaruwa bari biteze ndetse n’abagombaga kuyakira, basanze abantu bakwiriye kwiyumvisha uburyo umuntu azatungurwa n’amagambo meza bamwandikiye, n’ukuntu yamushimisha

Kenshi Batekerezaga ko uwo muntu yari asanzwe azi ukuntu bamwishimira.

Birashoboka ko imyitwarire y’umubiri wacu ishobora kugaragaza urukundo n’uko twishimira abandi, ariko ntidushobora kubyishingikirizaho gusa. Ibi bisobanuye ko akenshi byaba byiza kurushaho tuvuze uko twiyumva.

3. Ha agaciro ibyiyumvo by’abandi (ariko utekereze n’urundi ruhande)

Iyo umuntu ari mu bihe bikomeye, akenshi aba ashaka ko hari abambwumva. ugaragaza ko wumva uko amerewe bishobora ku mufasha ntakomeze kumva kumererwa nabi.

Inshuti ifite imyitwarire mibi cyangwa inshuti mbi ishobora gusuzugura kutita ku marangamutima yawe cyangwa ikagucira urubanza ku kuntu uvuze wumva umeze – ibi bikaba byatera kumva wanzwe, ibyongera umutwaro w’amarangamutima.

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