Ngizo rero inama 10 za mbere tuguhaye kugira 2025 ube w’umwaka w’umunezo kurusha.
Abantu bamwe bamwe bavutse bagenewe kunezerwa kurusha abandi. Ariko uba uri umuntu aririmba iyo ari mu bwogero (muri douche) canke atamba mu mvura, canke akunda kwama yijiriwe canke afyuye umunwa, ukunezerwa si ikuntu kidushikira gutyo gusa. Twese turashobora guhindura akamenyero kacu kugira twongereze umunezero mu buzima bwacu.
Inzira 8 zo kuguma urushiriza kugira umunezero uyu mwaka – Ubumenyi
Komeza ubugenzi uko usaza
Ubugenzi bufitiye akamaro abantu mu bihe vyose, ariko mu myaka y’ubusaza, bushobora kuba isoko rikomeye ryihariye ry’umunezero. Mu gihe abantu bashaje akenshi bagabanya uruhererekane rw’abo bazinanye kugira bashimikire kuri bake babazi neza, ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko ari iciyumviro ciza kuguma wugururiye abagenzi bashasha, kuko baduha akandi karusho ku migenderanire dusanganywe n’abo mu muryango, aho usanga ivyo tubakorera canke badukorera umenga ni ivyo dutegerezwa gukora. Kubera ubugenzi ari ku gushaka kw’umuntu, imigenderanire itarimwo agahato ishobora gutangura canke igahagarara umwanya uwo ari wo wose, akenshi busa n’ubukunda kubamwo ukuryoherwa no kutarandisha imitsi canke gutera umwitwarariko.
N’ubwo abantu bahumuye bahura n’intambamyi nyinshi zishobora gutuma kuhura n’abantu bashasha bigorana, mu nzira zimwe zimwe, vyategerezwa kutworohera kuronka abagenzi: tuguma tuba abantu babushitse, twongereza ubunararibonye, uko iminsi ihera niko tugira isura y’akanyamuneza kandi akenshi tukaba abagwaneza gusumba. Kandi akigoro ko kugumana ubugenzi bw’akamaro uko dutera dusaza karakwiye, kuko inyungu zirimwo zirenze ukwiyumva neza gusa -biradufasha kandi kuguma dushwashwanutse mu bwenge no ku mubiri. Ubushakashatsi buguma bwerekana ko kugira abagenzi bifise uruhara mu kuba imburi y’ukubaho neza co kimwe no kugira umuryango mu bihe vy’imyaka y’ubukambwe n’ubusaza.
Hanyuma niba uri umuntu bigora kuronka abagenzi – ushobora gufatira nko ku kanya ko kuja gusamarira ubwirakabiri -nk’umunsi bwaca muri Amerika ya ruguru- ikaba inzira yo kwumva ko uri kumwe n’abandi bari hafi yawe bikagufasha kwiyumva ukundi mu nzira nziza.
Impuhwe (compassion) zirazwi neza ko ari umushinge w’ubugenzi bw’ukuri. Iryo jambo riva mu rurimi rw’Ikiratini (Latin) risigura ngo ”ububabare busangiwe”, ukwo kwishira mu kibanza c’uwundi ugatahura icomubabaza canke icomunezera bituma tumuba hafi iyo ari mu gihe akeneye gifsaha. Ariko hari ikindi gihushanye n’izo mpuhwe co kitazwi cane kandi na conyene gikomeye cane – ”confelicity” nk’uko David Robinson yavyandikiye itangazamakuru.
Iryo jambo risigura ”umunezero usangiwe”, ni uruhande rutarahabwa agaciro gakwiye k’imigenderanire myiza, nk’uko ivyigwa vyinshi bibivuga.
Gukerebukira gushigikira inkuru nziza y’umugenzi – ukabaza ibibazo kuri yo – ni ishingiro ryo kuba umugenzi mwiza. Iyo naho werekanye ko ataco bikubwiye, canke ugashishikazwa no kwerekana ko intambwe yateye ataco ivuze kinini – ushobora gusanga uriko urica imigenderanire. Vyibazwa kwiyumvira canke kwitega kenshi ibikorwa vyo kwinezereza bishobora kuduha kwizera kurushiriza kwizera ko ibintu biba mu nzira nziza.
Vyaramaze kuba nk’ibisanzwe kuvuga ko kugira ico ukoreye uwundi bigutuma wiyumva neza kurusha kwiha impembo wewe nyene, ariko uko umenya vyinshi ku bijanye no kwitangira abandi (altruisme) niko birushiriza kugaragara ko ari ukuri.
Kuko, ivyigwa vyerekanye ko gukorera ubushake bishobora gufasha kugutezurira bimwe bimwe biguhanga mu magara nk’ububabare bukwamako canke akabonge. Icigwa co mu 2020, nk’akarorero, casanze abantu bafadikanije igikorwa c’ubukorerabushake barungitswe gufasha abandi bahanzwe n’ububabare bamana nabo basanze urugero rw’ububabare bwabo rwakorotse igihe baba bariko barakorera ubushake. Ibindi vyigwa vyerekanye ko kwitaho ibikoko bishobora gufasha amagara yacu kuba meza gusumba kandi ko kwitaho ibiterwa vy’imuhira bishobora kudufasha natwe gutotahara, na cane cane mu myaka y’ubusaza.
Bamwe mu bafasha mu vy’amagara mbere ubu basigaye bandikira abantu gukora ibikorwa vy’ubushake nk’imwe mu nzira zifasha z’ukwandikirwa umubano”: kwandikirwa ibifasha kwifatanya n’ikibano n’ivyo gikora. Kurungika abantu gukora kuva ku vyigwa vy’ubugenegene gushika kuja kunyonga ikinga mu migwi, kubafasha kuriha fagitire z’ivyo kurya n’amatara canke gaze, vyose biguma birushuriza kugaragara ko ari ibikorwa bishobora navyo kugabanya ubwinshi bw’abitura inzego zijejwe amagara no kubaho neza.
Menya amateka ya basokuru n’abasokuruza bawe
Hari iyindi nzira y’ingene kahise gashobora kugufasha muri kubu. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko gukurikirana ukamenya amateka ya basokuru na basogokuruza bawe bishobora kugurira akamaro gakomeye mu buryo wiyumva canke wigenza. Inkuru z’umuryango, nk’akarorero, z’ingene abantu bavyifashemwo mu ngorane, zirashobora gufasha iyo zigiye zirahererekanywa urunganwe ku rundi.
Susan M Moore, umwigisha w’iteka (Emerite/Emeritus) wa ‘psychologie’ kuri kaminuza ya Swinburne University of Technology i Melbourne (Australie), yatoye ko abantu bazi vyinshi kuri kahise k’umurryango wabo bafise urugero runini rwo gushimishwa no kubaho neza. Kuja mu gikorwa co kumenya urukurikirane rw’abasokuru bawe bishobora gushikana ku kwumva ko umenga ubuzima bwabo urabugenzura, bikajana no kurushiriza gutahura ikibanza cawe kw’isi.
Bishobora kandi kuguha kwumva iyo uriko uraja no gukenguruka – mu kumenya ko ubuzima bwawe uyu munsi bwashobotse kubera urugamba, ishaka, ubwira n’umwete w’ababayeho imbere yawe kw’izina ry’abazobaho bo bamaze gutambuka (kurengana).
Kunezerwa n’ivyiza bishikiye abagenzi bacu bifise ikibanza gikomeye mu gumumana imigenderanire myiza na bo.
Kora urutonde
Guharura imigisha waronse mu buzima n’impanuro ya kera cane, bishigikiye ikintu coroshe kandi vyagaragaye ko ari ciza. Kwandika ibintu bitatu vyiza vyashitse mu buzima bwawe bishobora gufasha kukwongerereza agatima keza. Niba ari ikintu cahinduye ubuzima bwawe nko gutora ikibazo gikomeye canke kwibaruka umwana, canke ikintu umenga ntaco kivuze, nko guhura bukwi na bukwi n’umugenzi mwaherukana kera – haguma hongerekana ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko bishobora kwongereza kubaho neza.
Ama witeze ibikuryohera n’ibigusamaza
Nta kintu gisumba nko gutwara imodoka ku murambi mwiza – akayaga kaguca irya n’ino, washizemwo uturirimbo ukunda, ibarabara ryose umenga ni rwawe. Emwe, n’imbeba zisigaye zizi kuryoherwa n’uko gutwara imodoka, inyuma y’aho abashakashatsi kuri kaminuza ya Richmond muri Virginia, bazigishirije kunyonga utuduga duto twa Perspex muri laboratwari.
Izo mbeba ntizatevye mu kwiga ubwo bwenge, gatoya ziba zisigaye zisimbira muri utwo tuduga, zitegurira urugendo rwazo rukurikira. Amaherezo abashakashatsi babonye imbeba zimwe zimwe zisimbagurika nk’uko zoba ziryohewe no kuba zihava zinezerwa.
Ibi vyashikanye ku nzira nshasha y’ubushakashatsi. Vyoba ari ivyo ko kwitega guhava uryoherwa bifasha nk’uko woba uriko uraryoherwa nyene?
Mu kindi cigwa, abahinga bigishije imbeba kurindira ko zihabwa agashirukabute – mu gihe hari izindi zagahabwa ubwo nyene. Mu nyuma baciye bapima urugero rw’izo mbeba rwo kwitega ikintu wizeye ko kija kuba ciza (optimisme) baca basanga izari zigishijwe kurindira kuronka agashirukabute zari zifise urugero runini rwo kwitega ko ibintu bigenda neza kurusha izindi.
Abashakashatsi baciye bibaza ko no ku bantu vyoshoboka – ko mu kwitega ko hahava haba ibikorwa vyo kwiryohera no kunezerwa dushobora guhindukiza ubwonko bwacu bakurushiriza kwitega ko ibintu bija kuba vyiza.
Ntihagire na kimwe ukora
Niba wagumye usoma urwo rutonde ugashika ngaha, iki gishobora kuza nk’ikintu kigutangaza. Ariko ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko kwitwararika cane kuronka umunezero bishobora kuzibira kuwumva.
Abagerageje mu gushishikariza abantu kwifuza umunezero urushirije uwo bafise – kumbure mu gusoma ibitabo vy’ingene banezerwa – imbere yo kuraba isinema yobafasha kubishikako vyarangiye biyumva biyanse kurusha kwiyumva neza gusumba. Ku bisanzwe uko bihobora bigenda ni uko mu kwitega ibirenze gusumba, gusoma no kwitwararika akamaro k’umunezero ahubwo bishobora kurangira abantu batakaje kwizera ko ibintu bigenda neza.
Nawe ushobora kuba umaze kuvyibonera iyo hari urubanza runini wari urindiriye cane ko ruja kuryoha hanyuma ntirugende uko wari urwiteze.
Iris Mauss, umwigisja wa psychologie kuri kamiunza University of California, Berkely, nawe yerekanye ko kwifuza no kurondera umunezero bishobora kwongereza kwumva ubaye inyakamwe no gutakara. Atanga inama yo kurushiriza kurya umutima amenyo no kurushiriza kwakira ukugwa n’ukuvyuka bishika mu buzima.
Ndi umwanditsi ahangaha kuri uru rubuga, ibindi mu zambaze.